


Let's Do It Again

by monkiainen



Category: The Dresden Files - Jim Butcher
Genre: Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 08:37:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8095363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiainen/pseuds/monkiainen
Summary: Harry wonders why people seem to think he and his brother are gay for each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt _Why do people think we're gay?_ for the fest 18 of smallfandomfest

My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden, and I'm a private investigator. I'm also a wizard, Warden Regional Commander of the White Council, Winter Knight, Warden of Demonreach Prison, and a father to a 8-year-old girl. And apparently I'm also gay for my vampiric half-brother.

That last part didn't make much sense, now did it?

My half-brother Thomas is a White Court vampire. Forget about all the clichés about vampires not be able stand garlic and daylight. Well, actually, don't, because they still apply to the Black Court vampires. Anyway, White Court vampires are not your Hollywood-type of vampires, since they are Incubuses. Meaning that apart from having the very clichéd vampire attributes such as supernatural strength, speed and healing ability, Thomas can also feed off people's emotional energy in the form of lust. That means through sex most of the time, in case you didn't get it. 

But that doesn't still explain why people think we're a gay couple. Seriously, are people blind? We are both over six feet tall, with long faces and strong jaws, completed with dark hair. We sort of look alike, you know. Can't people see the resemblance between us? Apparently they can't, because they keep thinking we're lovers. Just… don't get it.

Well, I do. In a very twisted and not-so-normal way.

Because let's face it: it's been hell of a long time since I had any sex. Too long, if you ask it from me, and you are, aren't you? It probably has something to do with the fact that the last person I had sex with turned out by mind-controlled by a wizard-killing traitor, which was the reason in the first place they had sex with yours truly. Yeah. Stuff like that does wonders to your self-esteem, now doesn't it? I wish Anastasia all the best, wherever she is.

And don't even go and talk about Susan, okay? Because I still have nightmares from that day in Chichén Itzá. Even if it was the right thing to do, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with the guilt.

There have been times in my past when I have thought of Karrin in, well, not-so-friend-like-way if you get my meaning. But the thing is, I don't want to lose one of my best friends _(well, my **only** best friend to be exact)_ over some meaningless sex. Except it wouldn't be meaningless, because it's Karrin we're talking about and she means a lot to me, but yeah, it would be a Very Bad Idea. So no. Apparently my destiny is to remain in celibacy for the rest of my life, which will a very long one because I'm a wizard. Yeah. Just my luck.

Okay, so, we have now established the fact that it's a very bad idea for me to have sex with women I care about, because they end up either dead or possessed. I haven't yet tried to have sex with **men** I care about, although that has probably something to do with the fact that all the men I care about are somehow related to me. But I still can't stop thinking about Thomas.

Okay, I get why people think we're gay. Thomas plays his part of the French gay hairdresser very convincingly, and I haven't done a thing to make people think otherwise. If anything, I play the part of smitten boyfriend well, at least as long as we are in public. What happens once we're in the privacy of Thomas' flat, well, then we act like brothers we are. Or at least I _think_ we act like brothers, but how would I know? We weren't raised together, so I have no idea how brothers should behave around each other. Playfully? Throwing thinly veiled barbs? Lovingly? Like you want to fuck your broth… wait, where did that come from? 

I think I have to do some self-examination, because wow. That… was not something I expected.

Well, okay, I did, because sometimes I wish wouldn't have **act** like I was Thomas' boyfriend – I **want** to be his boyfriend, however twisted that may sound to you. I don't want people just think we're gay, I want them to know we're gay for each other, okay? Although there's this one but: I have no idea how Thomas feels about us, or the fact people think we're gay. I'm pretty sure my brother still loves Justine, and there is no place for me in that relationship.

My musings are stopped when there's a knock on my door. I'm not expecting anyone to come around, so I grab my staff just in case before answering the door. Better to be prepared than sorry, or however that saying goes. I might be a Winter Knight, but in the end I'm still immortal. I don't want to have my back broken again. 

Lo and behold, it's Thomas. What a coincidence. Just when I happened to think of him in less than brotherly way.

"What do you want?" I gruffed, trying to hide my true emotions behind a rude demeanor. Of course, because Thomas is Thomas, he ignored my harshness and stepped right in without even saying hello. Not that I expected anything else from him, but it's still quite irritating.

"Et le soleil est plus brûlant que les oiseaux, et dans le ciel, l'amour à la française, c'est que je t'aime", Thomas declared, clearly waiting for an answer. Unfortunately French has never been part of my vocabulary, so all I could do was to wait patiently for my brother to explain himself in plain English. Luckily I didn't have to wait for long, because Thomas is notoriously impatient.

"Let's go to Paris together for a week, you and me. I've got tickets for tomorrow morning" Thomas finally sighed. That… didn't quite explain everything he said.

"And why exactly we should go to Paris together, and why does it have to be tomorrow?" I asked, waiting to see what Thomas wasn't telling me.

"Because… there is a very important cosmetology convention, and I've told everyone I'm bringing my boyfriend with me?" Thomas stated bashfully, batting his eyelashes for me. Just when did my life turn into an episode of Twilight Zone?

"And I'm supposed to pretend to be your boyfriend, because…?"

"Asch, stop being a pain in the ass Harry! Everyone already thinks we're gay so we might as well start acting the part. Are you coming with me or not?"

Well, I suppose that answered some of my questions. Maybe a week in Paris won't be that bad. Right?


End file.
